Sometimes Saying “My Birthmom Didn’t Want Me” Is an Adoptee’s Coping Mechanism

“When you’re adopted, at some level, your story is defined by a person who did not want you. Not wanting you may have been defined by wanting the best for you — in fact, most of the time it is.” – …

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A Conversation Defining Transracial Adoption with Anderson Cooper (CNN)

Earlier this week I, along with 21 other adoptee’s, adoption professionals and activists joined together to write An Open Letter: Why Co-opting “Transracial” in the Case of Rachel Dolezal is Problematic. The result was a media blitz, helping to define the word transracial. I was interviewed by the New York TimesWashington Post and International Business Times, as well as other outlets who supported adoptees in our desire to reclaim the integrity of this word.

View my conversation with Anderson Cooper here.

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Handcuffed For Traveling With A White Girl


“A traveling dance troupe claims they were racially profiled by Texas cops, who cuffed the trio after suspecting something wrong with a 13-year-old white girl and two black men sharing the same car, according to a report.




This happens to fathers with adopted children who look different and to fathers with children of mixed heritage who look different from them.


To The Young Woman Who Noticed Us When I Hoped No One Would

On a day when I felt like we were the worst example of family… a day when I hoped no one noticed us… she did. But she didn’t see what I assumed everyone was seeing. She didn’t think what I assumed everyone was thinking. She saw beauty and love a…


Book Review: ‘The Year She Left Us’ by Kathryn Ma


Kathryn Ma’s debut novel explores the inner world of an adopted Chinese teenage girl.


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My Transracial Adoption Journey – Part 1 | Mixed Space

I must admit that when my wife first suggested we adopt I wasn’t sure if I was up for it.  We already had our daughter but we wanted another and circumstances were such that this was probably the only way.  The question I kept asking myself was “Could I love a child that wasn’t my own?”


My Transracial Adoption Journey – Part 2 | Mixed Space

We didn’t set out to transracially adopt.  In fact, quite the opposite.  When you apply for adoption they give you a form with boxes to check to indicate what you’re looking for.  They give options such as age, gender, and even what disabilities or medical history you are willing to accept (such as depression or deafness).  Of course, they also include race.  This is no guarantee that this is the kid they will offer.  Their goal is to find a child as close to what you want as they can.  They’re not interested in just dumping children on people.  But you also have to understand that the more restrictive your options the longer a placement will take.


My Transracial Adoption Journey – Part 3 | Mixed Space

Suddenly we were parents of a baby again!  And anyone who has had a baby knows that “sleeping like a baby” is anything but!  Unless of course they meant “wakes up every two hours wanting to be fed.”  Still, he was our little guy from three weeks old.  Honestly, it felt more like we were over-glorified babysitters for the state at first.  But in time he found a place in our hearts and that place grew and grew until we couldn’t imagine him not being in our lives.


Chile Tales: The green addiction | Mixed Space

In Texas, when my parents were still married, we ate fried chicken, mashed potatoes laden with cream gravy, green beans flavored with bits of bacon and buttery light biscuits.  Every item on the menu had its own serving dish, and cloth napkins were always used.