When the oppressed turn into oppressors: Parenting & internalised racism

Article by Guilaine Kinouani

 

Excerpts selected by Glenn Robinson

The privilege of being lighter skinned
I am a lighter skinned Black woman. I am light enough to benefit from shadism but dark enough to still be accepted as Black. A uniquely privileged position. Throughout my upbringing I have received messages in my environment that this made me more desirable, more worthy, and/or more significant than my darker skinned counterparts. These messages were both covert and overt and articulated in the home and outside the home, at school, in the media etc… Pretty much everywhere.  There is no doubt that I was, at times, spoken to in kinder voices or treated with more patience than my darker skinned peers or sisters by both people of colour and by White people, all things being equal.  In time, I have learnt that my femininity and womanhood would be more easily accepted.

 

Parenting and internalised racism

 

…in our efforts to compensate for racism, we socialise children into injustice, compliance and complicity and instil a sense of inferiority in them. In doing so we may limit children’s scope to be themselves. We may reduce our capacity to respond to them with compassion and kindness. We may attend to stereotypes of what our children could be or could be seen as, rather than attending to them as unique persons. In a nutshell, we may contribute to racism’s self-fulfilling prophecies, perpetuate racial inequalities and more worryingly, may increase their risk of psychological  distress.
The perpetuation of oppression is everyone’s business

 

  • Internalising racism is adaptive. It is no pathology.
  • The construction of reality is controlled by the dominant group and circulated throughout society
  • those who are oppressed come to internalise the dominant group’s interests as their own
  • the interests of the oppressors are presented as actually reflecting everyone’s best interests…
  • the construction of a superior class is dependent upon the existence of an inferior one.
  • double bind: Be like us to be human. Trying to be like us is evidence that you are not human.
Click through for the whole article.

Sourced through Scoop.it from: racereflections.co.uk

Many pearls of wisdom in this article!

 

Note: Parents of all colors can have internalized racism and bias.

Sometimes Saying “My Birthmom Didn’t Want Me” Is an Adoptee’s Coping Mechanism

“When you’re adopted, at some level, your story is defined by a person who did not want you. Not wanting you may have been defined by wanting the best for you — in fact, most of the time it is.” – …

Sourced through Scoop.it from: theadoptedlife.com

The Media Is Doing Exactly What Rachel Dolezal’s Abusive Homeschooling Parents Want

“Every time we go after Rachel, we are doing exactly what her abusive parents want.”

Sourced through Scoop.it from: homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com

Barbie Fashionista dolls – 3 shades of brown skin and 5 shades of white

eight skin tones, 14 facial structures, 22 hairstyles, 23 hair colors and 18 eye colors.

Sourced through Scoop.it from: www.cnn.com

It’s a start.

 

I’m still looking for ‘the natural’ – natural African hair.

 

Raising Biracial Children to Be Well Adjusted

By: Nadra Kareem Nittle,
Race Relations Expert

Mixed-race children face unique challenges, but raising biracial children who are happy and healthy is possible if parents teach them to embrace all facets of their racial makeup, settle in diverse communities and choose schools that celebrate multiculturalism, among other measures.

 

  • Reject Myths About Mixed-Race Kids
  • Celebrate Your Child’s Multiethnic Heritage
  • Choose a School That Celebrates Cultural Diversity
  • Live in a Multicultural Neighborhood
 
Continue reading

Sourced through Scoop.it from: racerelations.about.com

My Transracial Adoption Journey – Part 3 | Mixed Space

Suddenly we were parents of a baby again!  And anyone who has had a baby knows that “sleeping like a baby” is anything but!  Unless of course they meant “wakes up every two hours wanting to be fed.”  Still, he was our little guy from three weeks old.  Honestly, it felt more like we were over-glorified babysitters for the state at first.  But in time he found a place in our hearts and that place grew and grew until we couldn’t imagine him not being in our lives.

Source: www.mixedspace.org

One drop or two: Mixed-race identity and politics in America with Sharon H. Chang

When Seattle-based researcher and writer Sharon H. Chang wrote an essay that detailed why she tells her mixed-race son that he’s Asian and not white, many readers were surprised — some were downright offended — that she would deny him his “whiteness.”

Source: rabble.ca

Interracial marriages: diversity not defined (+video)

Interracial marriages and mixed-race families still struggle to be recognized as the representation of regular Americans. One mom in an interracial marriage realizes that she has set limits on herself, and pushes to break her own boundaries, starting in the kitchen.

See on www.csmonitor.com